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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759311">Respect Your Elders</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzard_Fire/pseuds/Blizzard_Fire'>Blizzard_Fire</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack-y, Domestic Avengers, Humor, M/M, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Sleepy Cuddles, Steve Rogers is NOT stupid, Steve Rogers is a little shit, Thor (Marvel) is Not Stupid, Thor (Marvel) is a little shit, Thor has a mischief kink, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, together they are one evil braincell</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 17:20:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,341</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23759311</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blizzard_Fire/pseuds/Blizzard_Fire</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>'You know what we should do?' said Steve as they lay in bed that night.<br/>'Ungh,' Thor replied, sleepy face smushed against Steve's shoulder.<br/>'We should get our own back on them all. For assuming we're stupid just because we don't know how to use technology.' A slow, mischievous smile spread across his face. 'Oh, I've got it. I know exactly how we play this.'</p><p>The other Avengers think Steve and Thor are bad at technology. There's only one way to get revenge: pretend they understand <em>nothing at all.</em></p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Steve Rogers/Thor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>294</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Rare Pairs Events</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Respect Your Elders</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Written for round 1 of the Marvel Rare Pairs Prompt Meme 2020.</p><p>Prompt #329: Steve and Thor are both extremely intelligent men who are portrayed as a little dim in the ways of modern culture/technology. Cue them bonding over it and best of all pranking everyone and acting up the dumb.</p><p>Funnily enough I had a similar idea some time ago and felt it was time to try out a new ship! They have an interesting dynamic.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>'Hey guys,' Clint sniggered, 'Steve just sent me a text.'</p><p>'I didn't mean to send it like that,' Steve snapped, flushing. The Avengers were assembled in the living room on a peaceful Sunday morning, but judging by Tony's sly smile it wasn't going to stay peaceful for long.</p><p>'Steve can <em>text? </em>You surprise me every day, Cap. What does it say?'</p><p>Clint leaned forward, holding up his phone. <em>'"Training session later? Horny when you are. Steve." </em>Thor, I think your boyfriend's chatting me up.'</p><p>Thor looked up from his book. 'Must you tease him?'</p><p>'Why not? It's funny.' Tony pulled a packet of peanuts from his pocket and offered one to Bruce, but his eyes were closed and he appeared to be asleep. 'The other day he sent me one that said Fury wanted us all downstairs for an important "fondling". Boy was I disappointed when I got there.'</p><p>Steve sighed. 'I don't know why it keeps doing that. Correcting everything I say to... rude words.'</p><p>Thor reached out and squeezed his hand reassuringly. 'I was much the same when I first came to Midgard. You have nothing to be ashamed of.'</p><p>Natasha was sat barefoot on the floor, painting her toenails. 'You've had that phone for nearly two years, Steve.'</p><p>'I know! I don't know why it keeps doing it!'</p><p>'Let me have a look.' Thor took the phone from him and tapped through the settings menu. His brow furrowed in concentration.</p><p>Clint snorted. 'It's like having two grandpas in here. Steve's from the forties and Thor comes from a place where they still use candles instead of electric lights.'</p><p>Thor huffed. 'Well, these two grandpas could kick your arse, birdbrain.'</p><p>Tony put on a quavering voice. 'Back in my day, sonny...'</p><p>'It's not your fault, Steve,' said Bruce, opening one eye. 'You're from a different time. You don't need autocorrect to save the world.'</p><p>Tony stared at him. 'I thought you were asleep.'</p><p>He yawned and stretched. 'I was meditating.'</p><p>'Yeah, totally.' Clint leaned over and helped himself to a peanut. 'You snore when you "meditate".'</p><p>'I'm not <em>that</em> bad at technology,' said Steve indignantly. 'It's just these pointless tiny settings that they hide away from you - they don't tell you how to turn them off! You run a Google search and it doesn't tell you anything. Everything's got icons, not words, so you have no idea what you're even clicking on - '</p><p>'Here's a hint, Capsicle: you don't "run" a Google search. Google is a verb. And most people don't sign their name after every text.'</p><p>'Midgardians have so much technology yet they squander it behind <em>settings pages,'</em> Thor grumbled, still scrolling.</p><p>Steve took the phone back from him before an angry spark could appear. 'That doesn't help me with my autocorrect problem. Nat, help me out here. I'm good with tech, right? I figured out all of Tony's overcomplicated kitchen appliances.'</p><p>Natasha took slightly too long to reply. 'Yeah. It just... took you a little while. But yeah, you're great.' She smirked. 'Both you and Thor.'</p><p>Thor grunted. 'We have no friends here.'</p><p>Clint chuckled. 'Thor still takes low-angle selfies like the oldest dad ever. It's adorable.'</p><p>Steve just stared back at them all. He was the leader of the Avengers, he was supposed to command some respect, but they were all grinning at him like kids ganging up on their parents. 'Bruce?' he said weakly.</p><p>Bruce was the only one who hadn't spoken out, and for a moment it seemed as if he was about to stick up for them, but then he smiled and said reluctantly, 'You <em>did</em> ask me if the internet was installed on your laptop...'</p><p>With a theatrical sigh, Steve shoved his phone in his pocket and stood up. 'You know what? I'm going to stick to painting today. At least my canvas can't <em>autocorrect.'</em></p><p>Their laughter followed him out of the room.</p><p> </p><p>'You know what we should do?' said Steve as they lay in bed that night.</p><p>'Ungh,' Thor replied, sleepy face smushed against Steve's shoulder.</p><p>'We should get our own back on them all. For assuming we're stupid just because we don't know how to upload an Instagram or program a Roomba.'</p><p>Thor yawned. 'We could do those things if we cared to learn.' He hummed contentedly as Steve kissed the top of his head. 'How would we get our own back?'</p><p>'I don't know but we're senior citizens. Someone needs to tell them to respect their elders.' He frowned up at the ceiling, then a slow, mischievous smile spread across his face. 'Oh, I've got it. I know exactly how we play this.'</p><p>'Mm-hm.' Eyes still closed, Thor reached up and aimed a kiss in the vague direction of Steve's mouth, missing by miles and planting a slack-jawed kiss on his chin instead. 'Tell me in the morning, beloved?'</p><p> </p><p>They put Steve's plan into action the very next day, hovering in the kitchen until their first victim came along.</p><p>'Bruce,' said Thor cheerily, 'a moment of your time?'</p><p>Amusement glittered in the scientist's dark eyes as he wandered in. 'Sure. Need help with something?'</p><p>'Yes.' His jovial expression turned serious. 'The toaster. How does it work?'</p><p>Bruce blinked. 'Oh, um, the electricity heats up filaments inside and - '</p><p>'No.' Slowly, Thor pointed at the toaster. 'How does it <em>work?'</em></p><p>Steve had to turn away and cover his mouth so he wouldn't burst out laughing.</p><p>'You want to know... how to use the toaster?'</p><p>'Indeed, my friend. Tis most vexing to me. I have partaken many a time, but never have I made it for myself.'</p><p>'Well, it's not difficult. You just, uh, put a piece of bread in and...'</p><p>Steve turned back. 'Does it matter which way up the piece of bread goes?' he asked anxiously. 'I read an article that said upside-down bread can catch on fire.'</p><p>Bruce narrowed his eyes. Steve could almost sense him wondering if this was a joke but not being suspicious enough to call them on it. 'You just put it in and push the lever down, Thor. It's really simple.'</p><p>'But then what is this dial here? With the numbers?'</p><p>'That's for how cooked you want it to be.'</p><p>'What if the number I want isn't there?'</p><p>They kept it up for nearly ten minutes. Bruce was finally saved when Tony strolled in. 'Who burnt toast in here?'</p><p>Bruce had his head in his hands whilst Thor held up a charred piece of bread. 'Bruce is teaching us how to make toast. I am still confused.'</p><p>When Bruce raised his head, he looked utterly soul-destroyed. 'Tony, you explain it to them,' he said hoarsely, rubbing at the tinge of green that was creeping up his neck. 'I'm going to do some goddamn yoga or something.'</p><p> </p><p>Monday night was Clint's favourite because he had control of the TV. Which usually meant that Monday nights were gaming nights.</p><p>'Alright, I'm done beating you losers,' he said lazily, waving a hand at Tony and Natasha (Bruce had been absent for most of the day).</p><p>'Don't we get a turn?' asked Steve.</p><p>'Oh, you're adorable. Why not?' Grinning, Clint put his feet up on the couch. 'Don't think I'm about to go easy on you, though.'</p><p>Steve and Thor sat down on the floor either side of him, picking up the discarded PlayStation controllers.</p><p>Clint pulled up the character select screen. 'Okay, pick your racer. Don't sweat the stats.'</p><p>He made it sound so simple. But five minutes later, the two of them were squinting at the screen wearing identical expressions of confusion.</p><p>'Guys, it's not that hard. Just pick one and go!'</p><p>Thor laughed darkly. 'You tell us the stats do not matter, but I see plenty of numbers here! You expect me to choose a character which is lacking in speed such as this cute baby polar bear? No, this decision could turn the tide of our race!'</p><p>Meanwhile, Steve was holding the PlayStation controller upside-down and frowning down at it. 'What is the R3 button? There's no label for R3!'</p><p>'Just click in the right thumbstick, you don't need to do that anyway...'</p><p>Natasha and Tony were struggling to breathe from laughing as they watched from the other couch. 'Oh god,' said Tony, wiping away a tear, 'I wish I was filming this.'</p><p>Finally, they picked their characters and a dialogue box popped up: <em>press any button to continue.</em></p><p>Thor threw down his controller. <em>'There is no "any" button!'</em></p><p>Clint curled up on the couch. 'I just wanted to play Crash Team Racing,' he whimpered.</p><p> </p><p>The living room was silent, except for a quiet buzzing and the occasional contented sigh from Steve.</p><p>'What are you boys doing in here?' asked Natasha as she was passing through. 'Wait. What is that?'</p><p>'Hmm?' Steve opened one eye. He was lying on his front on the couch, cheek resting on Thor's knee. 'Oh, Thor found it online. It's called a massager. Eases up your muscles, it's really good.' The buzzing object was indeed easing the tension in his shoulders. He smiled up at her. 'Bet you've never seen one of these before.'</p><p>Natasha stared. 'Thor... what website did you find that on?'</p><p>'I forget,' said Thor innocently, continuing to run it up and down Steve's back. 'It was a very helpful website. They sold a lot of maid costumes, for some reason.'</p><p>'Thor, no.' Natasha took it from him. 'This is a rabbit vibrator. It's not for back massages.'</p><p>Thor rested a hand on Steve's head, absentmindedly playing with his hair. 'Then what is it for?'</p><p>It was hard to tell from Steve's position, but he could have sworn he saw her blush. 'It's for, um, insertion into - it's a sex toy, basically. See the ears on the front? That's for stimulating the um, outside.'</p><p>Steve rolled onto his side. 'What do you mean, a sex toy?'</p><p>Natasha was slowly backing away. 'They didn't have "marital aids" back in the forties?' She gingerly handed it back to Thor. 'Actually, you can keep that.'</p><p>'I have made a grave error,' Thor rumbled. 'I ordered another of these rabbits for someone else.'</p><p>'If you say anyone other than Tony, we have a very big problem.'</p><p>'Worry not, Natasha. I sent it to Fury.'</p><p>Natasha's mouth dropped open. '<em>What?'</em></p><p>'He seems tense all the time. I thought it might loosen him up a little.'</p><p>'Oh my god I have to warn him...' With a despairing shake of her head, Natasha hurried off.</p><p>When she'd gone, Steve raised his head. 'You didn't really send one to Fury, did you?'</p><p>Thor chuckled and stroked a thumb down the back of Steve's neck. 'Of course not. I like being alive.'</p><p> </p><p>Thor was a really good kisser.</p><p>Steve made it two steps into the bedroom before he was pushed up against the wall with a thigh between his legs and a tongue down his throat. 'Someone's impatient tonight,' he chuckled when they came up for air.</p><p>Thor flicked his hair out of his eyes, grinning. 'Behind your noble exterior lies a devilish mind.' He sighed as Steve crept a hand up his leg. 'I think I love you all the more for it.'</p><p>'Well, there's plenty more where that came from.' Steve brushed his lips against his ear to whisper, 'Maybe you should show me just how much you like it first.'</p><p>Of course, that was the moment the door burst open. The two sprang apart. 'Did you not think to knock, Stark?' Thor growled. Steve struggled to control his reaction to that particular tone of voice.</p><p>Tony ignored him. 'What do you want from me?' he asked Steve. His eyes were wild. 'Do you want me apologise? Is that what this was all about?'</p><p>Steve slipped his hands into his pockets. 'I'm not sure what you're talking about, Tony. You'll have to speak up, I ain't as young as I used to be.'</p><p>'How did you even do it you cunning bastard? It's going to take me hours to fix this mess!'</p><p>Thor curled an arm around Steve's waist. 'What is he talking about?'</p><p>Tony jabbed a finger at him. 'And you were his accomplice in all this! Now my music library consists only of Hannah Montana, my ringtone is set to the Turkish national anthem and JARVIS won't stop speaking French!'</p><p>Steve couldn't fight the shit-eating grin that grew across his face. 'You give me too much credit, Tony. Thor and I know nothing about technology, remember?'</p><p>Tony groaned. 'Okay, you win. You want me to cry uncle? This is me crying uncle. <em>Please stop.'</em></p><p>He let him stew for a few moments more. 'Will you turn off the inappropriate autocorrect you set up on my phone?'</p><p>'Jesus, is <em>that</em> was this is all about? Yes, I promise!'</p><p>'Alright, deal.' Steve raised his voice. 'JARVIS?'</p><p>
  <em>'Oui, Capitaine?'</em>
</p><p>'Please disregard my earlier instructions.'</p><p>
  <em>'Understood, Captain.'</em>
</p><p>Tony gawped at him. 'How the hell - '</p><p>'You got drunk a few weeks ago and gave me the designated driver protocol. Turns out it still works.' Steve savoured the delicious, stunned silence that meant he'd outwitted the great Tony Stark. 'Here's my phone.' He handed it to him. 'Fix it. Don't do anything weird with it.'</p><p>Tony recovered a little, enough to smile and shake his head. 'Never thought you were harbouring a mean streak in there, Cap. Alright, you win this round. Thor, watch your step. You're dating an evil genius.'</p><p>Thor's eyes shone. 'Oh, I am aware.' And when he glanced at Steve he didn't even bother to hide the raw attraction in his gaze.</p><p>Steve coughed. 'Come back in a few hours,' he said, all but shoving Tony out of the room and closing the door.</p><p>Thor was on him in an instant, scrabbling to undo the buttons on his shirt. 'I rather like this side of you,' he said huskily.</p><p>'Maybe you haven't seen the last of it.' Steve pushed him down onto the bed and climbed on top of him. 'Now, where were we?'</p>
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